


Sticks and Places

by Idonquixote



Series: Downstairs Accidents [4]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood and Injury, Feelings come to a close, First Kiss, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-10
Updated: 2015-08-10
Packaged: 2018-04-13 22:16:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4539408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Idonquixote/pseuds/Idonquixote
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's a tension he hasn't felt since the war, the kind that trickles like water on stone, a rock that can cut and shield in turn. That's what Sebastian is to him now, a steady object in the violent river, one that can hurt and be hurt in turn.</p><p>There's a future here for both of them. Bard doesn't know how good or bad it will be, how many more times he'll find himself at Sebastian's bedside, how many more times a fire will try to blow him out, how many more scars that will be scratched into him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sticks and Places

**Author's Note:**

> Here it is! The last part of "Downstairs Accidents." Our servants are finally coming to terms with their bottled up emotions and (gasp) opening up.
> 
> Again, thank you all for the support you've given "Downstairs Accidents." I could never have finished without you.

Bard's gone from disliking Sebastian to hating Sebastian to _feeling_ for Sebastian and straight back to hating him. It's a different kind of hate this time, not quite what he felt when the butler started giving him the cold shoulder and not quite what he felt when Sebastian pulled him out of that fire almost two months ago. It's a tension he hasn't felt since the war, the kind that trickles like water on stone, a rock that can cut and shield in turn. That's what Sebastian is to him now, a steady object in the violent river, one that can hurt and be hurt in turn.

_You said you were better._

The cook fumbles inside his pockets- no cigarettes to be found. He doesn't know what he'd do if had them anyway. He'd be too self-conscious to smoke with Sebastian in the room. Besides, the fumes can't be good for the other man. Nevermind the fact that Bard's smoked through entire packets while he was cooped up in that hospital bed- he was of a different stock than Sebastian.

_Fucking liar._

Sebastian is clean, stiff, cold, something far snottier and more refined than Bard- sharper, stranger. He's a mirror of opposites for the cook. Bard's earthy, dirty, and blunt as an American can be. It had always been that way. But now Bard wonders, musing over this thing between them, are they really so different? He's seen Sebastian, the untouchable, infallible manservant, at his worst- he's seen him bleed and lose control, seen him worry and weary, seen him drink from a whiskey bottle of all things. 

But Bard had long since accepted it. He wouldn't fault Sebastian for having faults anymore. Maybe it was because they were never that different in the place. Bard took the hand out of his pocket, eyes drifting to the ceiling- surely it couldn't have been the smug perfection that drew and repelled him tin the first place. Maybe a part of it. Still, he understands now. It's that semblance of vulnerability that called to him.

Like a damn succubus, Sebastian's trapped him. And Bard realizes he doesn't want to be free.

_Thought you said you didn't tell lies. Or maybe I'm just too dumb to see a roundabout truth. Hmph._

With nothing better to do, he moves back to his place by Sebastian's bed, the chair still warm from Mey-Rin's presence. Bard had convinced her to let him keep watch for the rest of the night (or what remained of it anyway) and go on to bed herself. She'd been very, very reluctant to leave. He couldn't blame her. Blue eyes fell on Sebastian's sleeping face, whiter than the sheets.

Bard's rough fingers brush over the smooth forehead, moving that one wisp of hair of the way. Lady Midford is right- that is an indecent hairstyle. The fever's gone down and Sebastian's skin is just plain cold now. It's stupid, Bard knows, but he somehow feels that if his hand stays there long enough, some warmth will reach the butler.

Sebastian doesn't bruise as easily anymore, last time Bard checked. The former had stopped coming to him for his nightly checkups and Bard had trusted him enough to think he'd been well on his way to returning to normal. His chest is clean, not even a scar to remind them of the gaping wound. Bard on the other hand, now has quite a large burn in addition to the array of past scars on his own body. 

"I've got enough scars for us both," the cook mutters, not sure if he wants Sebastian to hear or not, "so your body stays clean, got that?"

Bard wonders if it's a trick of the light, but Sebastian looks sad in his sleep, by a small bit- older, wearier, as if some century-old pain was wearing him down though Bard's not sure if any of those thoughts make sense. If anything, the butler's probably dreaming about the manor's tea going bad. As if Sebastian had enough creativity to think about anything else. 

After all, this was the man who tried to hide a smashed ribcage from the rest of them and who knows what else was wrong on the inside of his bizarre biology. All Bard knows is he and the young master went on an errand and came back in one piece. That is, until Sebastian decided to scare the living shit out of their young charge by coughing up _that_ much blood at dinner and promptly passing out before anyone could berate him. It was awfully familiar and Bard had been the first to scoop him up. He'd also been the first to rip that uniform off when Tanaka gave the orders.

They found out about the messed up ribs and hemorrhages later. And for the life of him, Bard has no idea how it happened. They hadn't even gone anywhere near danger. The young master described whatever happened as an "accident," sounding rather unsure himself. Well, Bard was sure sick as hell of being unsure.

"When you wake up, I'm gonna beat you up," Bard says, louder. It's likely that Sebastian would be the one beating _him_ up if he could hear. "You go around letting everyone hurt you but me. And that's not too fair, is it, superman?"

Feeling the moral high ground, Bard glares down at the butler's face. His gaze softens and he turns away, shoulders slumping. "Make you a deal, Sebastian. You wake up now and I spare you a beating."

At this point, Sebastian could smack Bard in the face and the cook would bear it with a grin. The thought angers him but it's all he has. Because at least it'd mean things were finally back to normal. It'd mean the butler would be fine. And then maybe Bard could finally be fine. 

_"I would rather you spare the meat."_

Startled, Bard turns back, having heard Sebastian's unmistakable voice. He leans forward, gripping the edges of the bed. Sebastian smiles up at him, worn and weak. 

"Shit. I don't even know where to start," Bard growls, "you can be a real bastard, you know that?"

"So I've been told."

Bard finds himself at Sebastian's level. He's let his upper body fall and now his head is on the butler's pillow. Sebastian doesn't seem to mind.

"I wanted to smoke."

"Of course you would have."

"But I didn't."

Sebastian only raises a brow, a look of pain momentarily flashing by him. "Bard," he says lowly, "I don't tell lies. I really am better, with no small thanks... to you. I just happen to be weaker than I'd prefer."

Bard snorts and it comes out sounding like a sob. He hopes Sebastian doesn't notice. "Don't let it happen again."

"You do not have the right to give me orders."

But Bard knows how to decode Sebastian's speech now. Under every word is another word. "It's alright, ya know? It's alright if you can't- guarantee anything. I won't hate you. Well, more than I already do."

"Tsk." Sebastian takes in a labored breath, chest constricting painfully. "I thought- I thought I understood so much more than humanity. I was wrong and I'm still trying to make sense of it. Should I be scared?" Half those words sound like they're meant for some higher power and not Bard.

But Bard's not like Sebastian. He's of a different stock.

"I don't really care 'bout that mumbo jumbo. I'll tell you what I learned- I don't like it when you're hurt. I don't like it when you're weaker than me. I don't like it when you ignore me. I don't like it when I lose you. I don't know why. That's just the way it is."

Bard looks him in the eye. Sebastian's pupils look like slits against the firelight. 

"You're like... like tea, Sebastian. Or coffee. No sugar. It tastes terrible and only miserable people drink them that way. But you get used to it and you get addicted, and I think you learn to like it some day. That's the way it is for me. Can't lose you now."

Sebastian doesn't speak. Bard holds his breath, not expecting a reply and yet- he holds. A beat goes by.

"It's a funny thing, Bard. I do believe you've made me feel young again- I've never quite felt young. Inexperienced. What is the word?" Sebastian's eyes widen by a fraction, "Innocence. Such a simple word. But I've never quite had it, you see."

Sebastian feels the same. That's all Bard cares about. He doesn't need to know whatever sob story Sebastian's musing over- they'll have plenty of time to go over those in the future. Future. It makes sense now. There's a future here for both of them. Bard doesn't know how good or bad it will be, how many more times he'll find himself at Sebastian's bedside, how many more times a fire will try to blow him out, how many more scars that will be scratched into him. But he does know there will be _something_ for them.

"You know, I'm a little sick of mooning over your bed," Bard says.

He moves the rest of the body forward. And something in the butler's eyes tells him it's all right to do what he does next. Bard leans in, his lips pressing over Sebastian's, the latter's soft and willing. It's then he realizes he's wanted this for a long time, since that first day on the battlefield, every time Sebastian's passed him over, all those days between the two of them in his room, the unspoken things they've shared, all of it. It's then he realizes he has Sebastian. It's then he realizes Sebastian has him.

And it's then he realizes everything is fine, if only for a moment.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Feel free to leave kudos/comments!
> 
> And Bard finally gets his happy ending with Sebastian. If only for one night, haha. I do have some ideas for more stories with these two because this pairing has moved from crack territory to becoming one of my favorites. At first I was afraid this series wouldn't get any readers on account of being Sebastian/Bard, but you guys proved me wrong! Thanks so much for doing that!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the series as much as I did writing it and that you're happy with the way it ended.


End file.
